It’s all over the news and people’s social feeds every October. There are many ways to get involved in Breast Cancer Awareness Month. It’s done wonders for research and progress on many fronts, there’s no question about that. But there’s another side to it, the question of “pinkwashing,” a combination of virtue signaling and profiteering as well as an overall lack of understanding of the needs and sensitivities of survivors. Survivorship is a big chapter in a cancer journey, one that thankfully has been getting more attention as more women survive and thrive. As the National Breast Cancer Foundation reports, there are over 4 million breast cancer survivors in the United States. There are many previvors too (people who are high risk but have not been diagnosed with breast cancer).
Which brings me to a lovely story. Before the start of October, I noticed a nuanced, brilliant piece on LinkedIn written by a woman I didn’t know. But I shared it around because it spoke volumes. It asked simply that people consider how members of the breast cancer community might feel about the array of store displays, events and media as well as where their dollars for purchases and donations were going. Clear, actionable and beautifully written. In essence, think about the people affected and how best to make an actual impact. Graceful, gracious and wise.
Like most phenomena, breast cancer awareness is more complicated than your average meme. Breast cancer is more than one illness. It’s a complicated group of diseases, each with their own characteristics. Her2 positive, triple negative, DCIS, metastatic – these are words that make a huge difference to the treatments, prognoses and journeys of the people who face them. Being thoughtful and sensitive about that and consequently about what survivors need takes energy, but it’s worthwhile. Because the best kind of support is borne of human connection; making a person feel seen, heard and known. Listening and learning.
On that note, I couldn’t have dreamed of something more life-affirming than what happened next. I noticed that the same woman whose post I shared on LinkedIn had written a tribute to her parents and they just happened to own a business in the town I grew up in. They employed my neighbor and dear friend, and this job was an anchor and a home for her during some notably hard times. Thinking about human connection, especially during October, I reached out to this wonderfully articulate, brave breast cancer survivor and let her know how much I personally appreciated her parents. Turns out, she was visiting with them and was able to tell her father and he was so moved. Now he’s reaching out to reconnect with my old friend and I’ve got an amazing new friend! We have much in common and there’s joy all around.
That’s a fantastic lesson about how to approach survivors during breast cancer awareness month. Sure, do the 5k, buy the pink merch, post something lovely. But more than that, connect.